Someday

We're now up 1 Sound FX guru. The List has been updated to show it. So that's nice. He's a graduating college student and has never composed music, yet is all about doing SFX, so I'm more than happy to add him to the project. This would also allow whatever Composer I find to do just that - compose. So basically the only thing that would prevent the sound and music from being Epic, is me. I'll try not to disappoint.

-Oh, right. Because of the overwhelming number of applicants, all of them awesome, I pulled the advert down from the list of the Craig's. My new composer is in there somewhere, waiting patiently to be unleashed.
I'm finding that reading the bios and whatnot of the composers, it's like Bizarro world.You see, I spent 9 years training as a musician. Music theory, instruments and so on. I still feel odd if I don't have a piano to screw around with. Anvil Studio has been on every computer I've ever owned, including this one. I considered for about half a second going to music school and trying to be a composer myself, but the lure of, well, this, was simply too strong.
So, when I read the bios and MySpace pages it's me looking at what could have been, maybe. I see in the musicians that applied something that I wouldn't have had should I have gone that way, a real passion for the work. I find that fascinating.

- In other game stuff, The Tester agrees, The Cliff level doesn't suck and is almost bug free! In spite of all the bloody scripting. It's so nice to when the code, you know, works.

Yesterday I had a sit down and tried to discover the cause of my general malaise (yeah, that's right malaise. It's a real word, although it does sound like a condiment). What I discovered is that it's entirely due to a complete and almost total lack of directions. Yep, directions, not direction, there's a key difference there. You see, I know what I want. What I want, is to own my own studio. I basically want this guy's job. The despondency comes from the fact that I have exactly zero idea of how to get there from where I am standing right now.
But here's the really stupid thing, 8 year old me, would be proud of 26 year old me.
"What do you do?"
"I make games, but no money. So I work 2 jobs."
"You make games?!"
"Yeah, but not professionally and..."
"That's so cool!"
Odd, reading that back just gave me an overwhelming sense of, well, something I've never experienced before, and lack a word for. It's like finding out that you've already won in some way, as if you just washed your jeans and discovered a lottery ticket inside the pocket.
8 year old me would be proud of 26 year old me. In a way, I'm already what I've always wanted. Now, I just have to finish what I've started. We'll figure it out as we go.

I'm Working so I won't have to try so hard,
Tables they turn sometimes.
Oh, Someday,
No I ain't wasting no more Time.